My Birth Story- December 12, 2009 4:00 am

My Birth Story:
I was supposed to be induced on December 16th and so the weekend of December 12th
Mandrae and I had plans to go to a movie and dinner and hang out as a couple for the last
time. So on December 11th we had fun together and Mandrae was being his normal self and
cracking some jokes and had me on the floor crying laughing. Anyway I went to bed that
night and woke up at 4 am to use the bathroom. I got back in bed and felt really wet so I
checked myself and determined it was nothing and went back to sleep. Then all of sudden I
felt like I was swimming in bed! So I stood up and had water flowing down my legs and all
over the floor. So I ran in the living room where Mandrae had fallen asleep watching sports
and told him in a scared and shaking voice, “My water broke!!!” I ran to the bathroom
thinking the water would stop coming and it did nothing of the sort! My water leaked for
like 3 hours, or should I say poured. Anyway I got my bag and got dressed and told Mandrae
to pack his clothes and then we were on our way. By the time I got there my clothes were
soaking wet. We checked in at the ER and then I was in the bed waiting on the lil one to
come. At that point I hadn’t felt any pain so far and thought man this is easy. For the
next 7 hours I didn’t really feel too much, nothing like I expected. Then at the 7th hour
my body went into shock. The nurses had been asking me the whole time if I wanted an
epidural and pretty much wanting me to have it. I really wanted a natural child birth
though so I kept my cool and kept denying it. The pain got worse but I never made a sound.
I took it like a champ. J Then when my body went into shock I said I wanted an epidural and
before I got one I needed to use the bathroom. After Mandrae helped me to the restroom w
the IV cords and monitor cords all over the place, I REALLY had to use the bathroom. I sat
down and stuff was coming out everywhere. I started to get really bad diarrhea and couldn’t
get off the toilet. The nurse started banging on the door saying, “Get out the epidural is
here and we have to do it now, come on we are waiting on you.” So I sucked it all in so it
wouldn’t come out and braved my way out to the bed to get my epidural. The man that gave me
the epidural had just finished running outside in the freezing cold and so his hands were
like ice and by this point I was having intense pressure and contractions every 15 minutes.
So while he was sticking the needle in my back I had like 10 contractions. This was the
worst pain I had ever experienced and I kept leaning forward from the pain and the dr. was
telling me to lean back towards him or he could mess up but w the contractions it was almost
impossible. He was also cracking jokes that this was his first epidural and let me tell u
that at this time I did not find that funny! So Mandrae was holding my hand and I had a
puddle of tears in front of me and u could tell Mandrae would have done anything to trade me
places. He was so so great for the whole delivery. Anyway they had checked me about 20 min
before the epidural and I was 7 cm. After the epidural the nurse checked me and I was a
full 10 cm. So that means that when my body went into shock I was ready to push! So I
didn’t need the epidural and could have the baby by now. But since I had an epidural then
the contractions slowed down a ton and they needed me to wait an hour to start pushing to
let the epidural take place. By now I felt a lot of pressure which the epidural doesn’t
take away and this was the only pain I was feeling before and so really the epidural did me
no good at all. So after an hour they had me start pushing and so I started to push and my
contractions were every 5 min and so every 5 min I had to push for one minute. I always
thought pushing would be the easy part but no. Since I was numb I couldn’t tell if I was
really doing anything or if my pushing was doing any good. Pushing was HARD! At one point
the nurse left and I felt a contraction coming on and so Mandrae stood at the bottom of the
bed and coached me through the push. He was so great. So after 2 hours of pushing and
getting really no where except that Mandrae could see the top of her head but she kept
coming close and then going back in so they gave me pletocin to get my contractions closer
together and so I was able to push every minute then and within 30 minutes she was out at
1:10 pm. In order to get her out the doctor had to cut me because she wouldn’t fit. So I
thought I was having a 9 or 10 lb baby and really chubby one at that and when I saw her my
heart just filled with so much happiness her lil body was so long and so tiny. She wasn’t
chubby at all and I was so excited. She was adorable. While they were weighing and
measuring her right by my head the dr. sewed me up. After I was stitched up they dropped
off baby to be breastfed and left her with me the rest of my stay in the hospital. I was
ready to go home by around 5 pm that day but they make u stay 24 hours in the hospital. So
every 3 hours I had to breast feed and change diapers and I hadn’t slept for like 2 days at
this point and had to take care of a brand new baby and I had no idea what to do. It did
come pretty natural though. She did a great job breastfeeding until I gave her a passie.
Once I did that she refused to breastfeed. She didn’t eat at all the second day. We left
the hospital around 4 pm the next day the 13th. When we got home she still wouldn’t
breastfeed and went like 40 hours without eating and I broke down! I started bawling because
she was acting like she was dying and couldn’t breathe and so I couldn’t stop crying and
wanted to take her to the hospital. Luckily my mom was here and told me she would be fine.
So I stayed up all night again trying to breastfeed and calling the breastfeeding hotline
with no answer. So finally the next morning we had to give her some formula. The next few
days I tried and tried and she finally breastfed with a shield. I still didn’t have a lot
of milk though. Once my mom left after a week I had NO appetite at all and didn’t eat for 4
days straight and so my milk started to get less and less. We then on vacation for
Christmas to Denison, TX/ Hutchinson, KS/ and Woodland Park, CO and I breastfed her 2 to 3
times a day. By the time I got home I was dried up and so we did formula only. I was really
sad but there was nothing I could do. Now I have only 2 weeks left til I go back to work
and we have no idea who we will get to watch her. We are at a loss right now and I am
horrified to leave her with anyone. She is so tiny still and it really scares me. She is
so gorgeous, adorable, cute and silly and she will hear it her whole life from us I am sure.
I still want another one soon and would be okay with getting pregnant in one month. It is
really hard though to stay up with her all night because she wont sleep at night, only
during the day. But I know it will all be worth it. WE LOVE HER TO DEATH!